Confused

Ok, I need to vent a bit. I'll preface this by saying that just 3 days ago we were flat broke and our mortgage payment would have bounced later this week. And my wife was making $400/mo watching my daughters friend all day, and she is basically "unemployed" after next week, until she finds a job. Our solution was a terrible idea (high interest personal loan), but the only option we had to pay the mortgage and have a "buffer" to cover us for the next month or two in case she didn't get a job right away.

I told her yesterday that I needed to mow the grass (yesterday). She said she was going to a friends house to "get out of the house" and before she left I reminded her that I needed to mow and asked that she be back soon. She didn't get home until 9:30, so no mowing.

Anyway, my wife calls me up today at work and says she'd like to go to JCPenney out by Saxony in Noblesville 'cause they're having a helluva sale (like 80% off or something) and that she'd like to get Lauren (5) some school clothes. I asked what kind of clothes (because she has a closet full) and she said some pants, because she's outgrown all of hers, and some shirts that are more appropriate for school.

Apparently my first mistake was asking her how she knew all of Lauren's pants were too small, seeing how she just wore them 3-4 months ago and she has a drawer full. My wife said she just knows, and that she is the one dressing Lauren 90% of the time. I asked if she's had her try on her pants to make sure, and she said no. So, I stated that I didn't think it would be worth it to drive all the way out there (60 min round trip) to buy clothes that may or may not really be needed, and it's still summer...she has no use for pants! My second mistake was telling her I wanted to wait to mow until after dinner tonight when it was a little cooler (which would have interfered with her shopping plans).

Anytime I challange my wife, she gets mad. It doesn't really matter what it's about.

Nevertheless, I decided to just go mow before dinner. Afterwards I gave in and said she could go shopping. A few minutes later she grabbed her phone and keys and was out the door without a word.

2-3 hours later, she comes back with only 1 item for Lauren and 2 shirts for me. She asks me if I like the shirts and after a quick glance and without trying either of them on, I indicate that one looks good and I'm iffy on the other. I'm not sure if being iffy on the other was my 3rd mistake or what, but she went to bed mad and I'm sure there will be an argument tomorrow while I'm at work.

Ugh!

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Noah on July 31, 2008 at 4:01pm: Good luck! Let us know how it goes!

William (aka Kenny) said:
We'll start tonight.

William (aka Kenny) said:
I'll talk to her today about sitting down each week or each payday and show her the finances and where we stand and discuss how we can establish a budget and stick to it.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Eric Enochs on July 31, 2008 at 4:38pm: William,

Treat the budget meetings as you would a meeting at work. Boring I know and everyone hates to go but you seem like you want to do something about the finances and this is it. When I learned that, I spent about 20 or more dollars a week on lunch I stopped. I am saving almost 100 dollars a month now by stopping. I also shop at Aldis for my groceries.

I have it easy because I’m by myself and I’m the only one who is accountable but one day I sat down and looked at every bill on a piece of paper. I then made a tough decision, went through, and decided if I really needed it or not.

Being consistent is the hardest part but once it starts to work then you will see allot of positive feedback.

Hope everything goes well.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by William on July 31, 2008 at 4:55pm: If I hadn't just renewed my cell phone contract, I'd seriously consider dropping it or switching to Alltel or another provider that allows you to get "free" calls to more than just people in your own network (e.g. other networks, land lines, etc).; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by jeremy on August 7, 2008 at 3:54pm: man i feel your pain. i feel like no matter what i do mine gets made. so i say its a lose lose situation. i know she is on the sister site to this one and im always saying that she can talk to me since im right in front of her instead of strangers that dont know me or the situation but i might as well be talking to a wall.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by William on August 7, 2008 at 5:17pm: She kinda said the same thing to me...that she doesn't understand why I don't talk to her instead of venting on here.

jeremy said:
i know she is on the sister site to this one and im always saying that she can talk to me since im right in front of her instead of strangers that dont know me or the situation but i might as well be talking to a wall.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by William on August 7, 2008 at 5:31pm: We sat down last weekend and talked. I got my laptop out and showed her "the numbers" and she now has a better understanding of where we are financially (e.g. flat broke). It was a long, overdue discussion, but it was worth it.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Eric Enochs on August 7, 2008 at 5:41pm: That is awesome William. I'm glad it worked out. I know if you make them feel equal, which they are, that it becomes a team thing.

William (aka Kenny) said:
We sat down last weekend and talked. I got my laptop out and showed her "the numbers" and she now has a better understanding of where we are financially (e.g. flat broke). It was a long, overdue discussion, but it was worth it.; ▶ Reply to This