My Rights

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Permalink Reply by William on February 1, 2010 at 10:08pm

As long as they are biologically your children, and you are not an unfit parent, then you are entitled to equal rights. However, as you may have seen by other fathers posting here, the court system doesn't always grant you equal rights.

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Permalink Reply by stuart showalter on February 2, 2010 at 8:45am

Jacob-No you do not. You must establish paternity through an action in the Circuit or Superior Court under I.C. 31-14 et seq. You can begin establishing some rights by the filing of a paternity affidavit which can be obtained at the health department. Under current law an unwed mother has sole legal custody of the child. I expect that SB178 will pass third reading in the Senate today and go on to the House where I expect little opposition. We had an amendment submitted yesterday that will establish a check-off box on the paternity affidavit which will allow parents to choose joint legal custody. This bill will establish parenting time at the guideline minimums. We hope this will take effect by Autumn. Cheers-Stu

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Permalink Reply by Jacob James Parsley on February 3, 2010 at 3:15pm

Thanks for the info, it is much appreciated!!! I am totally new to all of this!!! I am trying to learn and pick up as much as I possibly can!!! All info is appreciated!!

stuart showalter said:

Jacob-No you do not. You must establish paternity through an action in the Circuit or Superior Court under I.C. 31-14 et seq. You can begin establishing some rights by the filing of a paternity affidavit which can be obtained at the health department. Under current law an unwed mother has sole legal custody of the child. I expect that SB178 will pass third reading in the Senate today and go on to the House where I expect little opposition. We had an amendment submitted yesterday that will establish a check-off box on the paternity affidavit which will allow parents to choose joint legal custody. This bill will establish parenting time at the guideline minimums. We hope this will take effect by Autumn. Cheers-Stu

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Permalink Reply by Jacob James Parsley on February 3, 2010 at 3:17pm

They are biologically mine, I am pretty sure I signed a Paternity affidavit at birth.. I know they are mne and just want to be treated equally.. Thanks for responding!

William said:

As long as they are biologically your children, and you are not an unfit parent, then you are entitled to equal rights. However, as you may have seen by other fathers posting here, the court system doesn't always grant you equal rights.

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Permalink Reply by Ryan P. Ray on February 4, 2010 at 12:38pm

In addition to everything Stuart stated, I would offer one other piece of advice, do not sit around and wait to establish paternity. If you and your ex are fairly amicable now, she should have no problem with you filing the paternity action, as it not only established your rights, but insures she is getting any child support she may be owed. The difference is, if you wait and she sometime gets the idea that she wants to withhold your parenting time, you will have no court order to enforce it. You'll never get that time back. On the flip side, if you wait and child support gets determined later, they COULD apply that support calculation back to the child's birth, having you start out with a arrearage. So if things are relatively ammicable, and you have had a history of significant child care, you should be able to file your petition pro se and submit an agreement to the court in writing, or simply show up for a hearing and let the court know what you agree on.
If you ARE paying her an amount of child support without a court order keep detailed records of those payments. Check copies, bank statements, receipts and the like. You can use that documentation as evidence to off-set any arrearage that may be calculated later.
If you have any additional questions, don't hesitate to contact me.

**Any advice given does not establish an attorney-client relationship.

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Permalink Reply by Joe on February 17, 2010 at 1:41pm

It's been awhile since I had a child while not being married, but in order for my children to have my name I had to be on the birth certificate. In order for that, I had to establish paternity with the affidavit. So, if you are on the birth certificate, I believe your paternity has been established. I may be wrong.

There is no such thing as equal rights in Indiana. I've even heard some lawyers actually refer to it as the woman's state. If you are a father and she is a "fit" mother (loose definition), you are automatically inferior as a parent in court. Now, can you fight the system and win? Sometimes. You will have to spend a lot of money where she won't. And if she has a good enough lawyer or you have a crappy enough one, you may have to end up paying her legal fees if you don't win. Maternity trumps paternity in an otherwise even playing field judging by my experience and the experiences of other divorced/unmarried fathers.

Things have changed, though. The term "joint legal custody" has been redefined, I'm told. I was divorced 10 years ago. It isn't the same today. I remember the laws were so unfair several years ago that Evan Bayh even said that there is no incentive outside personal integrity for divorced fathers to be good fathers and that needs to change. The system was weighted against us. It still is, but laws aren't so overtly one sided today.

Notice that even Stuart's link regarding the SB178 bill says "unless another determination is made by the court". Sadly, that disclaimer has been known to be the norm, making laws to really only be guidelines that can be ignored if the court has a softness for tears and puppy dog eyes.

Sorry to be such a downer. My point is actually that if you have a court battle coming up you better not skimp on the legal fees. You will get what you pay for and if you pay too little, you'll pay for her too.

Your best option is to get along with her and keep it out of court as much as possible. It's better for kids if you get along, too.

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Permalink Reply by Jacob James Parsley on February 17, 2010 at 5:48pm

Appreciate the advice.... I realize that keeping it friendly is the best option. We get along good right now, she knows that I am a good father and the kids need me in their life as much as they need her. My main concern, when she eventually gets a new boyfriend and he is not comfortable with us having a "friendship", I am afraid he may try to make it difficult for us to communicate. Thus, forcing me to file with the courts. This would be the worse thing for the children, they are a very important part of my life. I hate how this state works, it is not fair to make the Mother more important than the Father. I have tried to research this new law, or whatever it is. I do not really understand what it means entirely for Fathers????

Joe said:

It's been awhile since I had a child while not being married, but in order for my children to have my name I had to be on the birth certificate. In order for that, I had to establish paternity with the affidavit. So, if you are on the birth certificate, I believe your paternity has been established. I may be wrong.

There is no such thing as equal rights in Indiana. I've even heard some lawyers actually refer to it as the woman's state. If you are a father and she is a "fit" mother (loose definition), you are automatically inferior as a parent in court. Now, can you fight the system and win? Sometimes. You will have to spend a lot of money where she won't. And if she has a good enough lawyer or you have a crappy enough one, you may have to end up paying her legal fees if you don't win. Maternity trumps paternity in an otherwise even playing field judging by my experience and the experiences of other divorced/unmarried fathers.

Things have changed, though. The term "joint legal custody" has been redefined, I'm told. I was divorced 10 years ago. It isn't the same today. I remember the laws were so unfair several years ago that Evan Bayh even said that there is no incentive outside personal integrity for divorced fathers to be good fathers and that needs to change. The system was weighted against us. It still is, but laws aren't so overtly one sided today.

Notice that even Stuart's link regarding the SB178 bill says "unless another determination is made by the court". Sadly, that disclaimer has been known to be the norm, making laws to really only be guidelines that can be ignored if the court has a softness for tears and puppy dog eyes.

Sorry to be such a downer. My point is actually that if you have a court battle coming up you better not skimp on the legal fees. You will get what you pay for and if you pay too little, you'll pay for her too.

Your best option is to get along with her and keep it out of court as much as possible. It's better for kids if you get along, too.

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Permalink Reply by Eric Enochs on February 17, 2010 at 9:53pm

Good luck with everything Jacob, i hope it works out for you. Keep us posted if you don't mind.

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