Anybody Get Custody Of Their Kids?

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Permalink Reply by Eric Enochs on August 28, 2008 at 11:18am

Asahd,

I was able to get custody of my two kids. It took a lot of work with a lawyer, recording phone calls, recording conversations, and building up a case. then at the end I got lucky and she realized that the kids were better with me and I received sole custody.

That has been about 5 years ago and I remember at the time there was nothing online except for support groups. No process or anything. That is the whole reason I started IndyDads was to help out people with these needs. It has now moved on to helping any type of dad but I have a soft spot for dads getting custody because its tough. Most people think a kid is better off with the mom. And as much as people say its not, moms and dads do not start off as equals in the parenting case. A mom has to prove she is unfit while a dad has to prove he is a fit parent.

Do you have a lawyer?

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Permalink Reply by Asahd on August 28, 2008 at 7:48pm

I had a lawyer and at first I thought he was gung-ho for me, but as time went on I felt his passion dwindled. During the hearing the Judge interrupted his questioning of me and stated that he was not changing where the kids reside. That was it. My lawyer didn't even ask why. I'm going to Legal-Aid to get a different lawyer as soon as I can.

The thing is, I had the proof that she was an unfit mother. I could refute all the lies she told except for one, but I was never given the chance to say anything. I was the Stay at home Dad for six years and she had to lie to make herself look good.

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Permalink Reply by Eric Enochs on August 28, 2008 at 9:31pm

Thats tough. I wish some judges would take time to look at the case instead of treating the dad like crap. this is my opinion only but I think judges and lawyers have ruined the whole aspect of divorce. No couple needs to fight as much as they do. if you just focus on whats best for the kids (including not fighting with each other) then most would compromise. I don't know the specifics of your case but take school choice for example. I know a couple who had to go to a mediator because the wife and husband couldn't agree on a school. Its ridiculous because it all comes down to ego. That is why I have sole custody because when it gets to that point I just tell her this is what I am going to do. Now that doesn't mean that I don't listen because I do. Having two opinions at something is better than just having one.

Asahd said:

I had a lawyer and at first I thought he was gung-ho for me, but as time went on I felt his passion dwindled. During the hearing the Judge interrupted his questioning of me and stated that he was not changing where the kids reside. That was it. My lawyer didn't even ask why. I'm going to Legal-Aid to get a different lawyer as soon as I can.

The thing is, I had the proof that she was an unfit mother. I could refute all the lies she told except for one, but I was never given the chance to say anything. I was the Stay at home Dad for six years and she had to lie to make herself look good.

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Permalink Reply by dad2two on October 7, 2008 at 6:01pm

I was able to get custody of my son. It took a lot of work and a lot of legal expenses. I had to document everything and provide it to the courts. I have heard that it is easier now for fathers to get custody in IN than when I went through my divorce. I basically had to prove that his mother was unfit and a danger to him and unable to provide for him.

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Permalink Reply by Tommy Wags on October 8, 2008 at 3:42pm

The court system is old and needs to change. A presumption of 50/50 custody should be automatic unless the court can find that one parent is unfit. Unfortunately the courts rule for the mother 80% of the time for sole custody, only giving the father visitation rights. In order for this world to change and kids to grow up healthy and happy, both parents should receive equal visitation rights and any bickering should be dealt with through a mediator or court appointed counselor. My two cents.

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Permalink Reply by Ryan on November 24, 2008 at 8:47pm

True. Good ideas.

Tommy Wags said:

The court system is old and needs to change. A presumption of 50/50 custody should be automatic unless the court can find that one parent is unfit. Unfortunately the courts rule for the mother 80% of the time for sole custody, only giving the father visitation rights. In order for this world to change and kids to grow up healthy and happy, both parents should receive equal visitation rights and any bickering should be dealt with through a mediator or court appointed counselor. My two cents.

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Permalink Reply by Eric Enochs on November 24, 2008 at 9:23pm

What should we do as a group to change this? does anyone have any ideas to make getting custody for fathers easier?

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Permalink Reply by Jon on November 24, 2008 at 10:20pm

How about we find out which judges are more dad friendly or not? Then, we can all band together and vote out the bad ones. Remember when you voted and on the back they had "Should Judge Billy Bob be retained?" Well, if they aren't fair to dads, all the members here vote no. Just one idea.

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Permalink Reply by Christian Coram on December 1, 2008 at 6:15pm

Does anyone know of any father friendly attorneys in the Indianapolis or Fort Wayne areas? My soon to be ex-wife had filed for divorce in Fort Wayne before I had a chance to file in Indianapolis. She took our son to Fort Wayne without consulting with me first and has recently been trying to keep me from spending time with him. This has been very frustrating. I have been to court twice in preliminary hearings. My only concern is getting sole custody of my son because I believe my son's mother to be unfit to raise him and I don't want him to become a manipulator or liar as she has become. It has become apparent that without a lawyer I have little chance of getting custody of my son. I don't want to completely cut her out of his life, but believe that he is better off not having daily expose to her lifestyle. My attempts to locate a lawyer in Indianapolis that is willing to go to Fort Wayne or a lawyer in Fort Wayne that is willing to work with me on payments have not been successful. If anyone knows of a good lawyer that can help me out, I would be very appreciative!

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